Routine Refrain Vol. 6
I took a break but the routine returns!
When I took my little detour for my weekly posts that included the routine refrain. Sorry—not sure I properly disclosed that but sometimes shit just happens that way.
Funny enough in that time I have been playing (1) album on loop. It feels like if I sat down and wrote an album about myself, about being alive, about love, about someone who experiences immense grief and joy, it would literally be this album.
So, the refrain this week is a study in Hope Handwritten by Hope Tala. This is her first full length album. Most people know her from Cherries or All My Girls like to Fight (bangers), but this is a bit of a different route if those are the only songs you know.
Also, it feels very important to name, Hope is gay. Like very gay. And it is so clear in this album—in the best way.
Growing Pains (Prologue)
As an avid reader, I love when artists start albums with “prologues” because to me it signals that this is a body of work. Not a string of singles. Not an amalgamation of stories, but something that possesses a clear through line, and I love that! The pre-chorus really sets you up for what this album is about
Tryna write about what’s in my heart, but I don't even know where to start. Falling over, getting battle scars. I used to think that I was so damn smart. But when I look at my old photographs, realising how much time has passed, my hands start shaking, heart starts breaking—bracing myself.
Magic or Medicine
“Cause I've been up at night more than I've ever been, and I've been feeling right, but then it's straight back to hell again. I've been putting up a fight, thought it would get better then, pretty sure I need a cure, but don't know if it's magic or medicine.”
I have been playing this song on loop. It feels and sounds exactly what this substack is I am not gonna lie. It both freaked me out—and as art does, made me feel so soon and less alone. This will be in my top of the year for sure.
Breaking isn’t What a Heart is For
Survival
“We open the door, choices must be made, and we start hoping for more, 'cause how much more can we take. Don't know what I'm living for, and I can't even explain myself
Got nothing else to say. Acting like we're finе, when we're walking a tightrope. Start losing our minds, trying to break the cycle and sometimes you cry, while you're holding the high note. And that's what I know of survival.”
This triple run of songs next is wild. Absolutely wild
Fall to Hard
This song is what it’s like being an anxious person—with someone avoidant. It’s so good and pretty and addicting and also makes your brain feel like egg salad (I hate mayo). It’s like the start of a relationship where you two are doing the dance of deciding if you are going to be brave enough to figure it out, together. You ask for patience and grace, and you give it in return.
Lose my Mind
I will talk about loving songs about crushes until I am blue in the face. But this song…haha…this song. In the timeline of my current crush—it’s this song. It’s smooth, up beat, and so earnestly honest. “I know I fall too fast, guilty of feeling too much. Get myself in trouble with my heart broke and my hopes up, but I got no expectations this time, just trust and some patience.”
Hope wrote this about her current partner —and she gave permission to Hope to release it so people could send it to their crushes. 🥹 …maybe one day.
Bad Love God
I am a lesbian so any time yearning and romantic interested is related to ravenous desire and want I am on fucking board—because I get it. This is for those with a crush that feels like a furious frenzy of want and desire. Which I think ebbs and flows just like the line up of these songs. The storyline is so clear—ugh I love it.
A Story to Tell/Where I Begin
I don’t know what to say about how important this song is to me so I will put my favorite verse into the chorus. “Been staying down when the times are tough, struggling to pick myself up. I've been so unlucky in love, thinking maybe I'm not enough. Been lying to say I'm fine. When I can barely see the sunshine. Nostalgia making me lose my mind. I just can't seem to get it right. Hope there's change in the morning light, and the clouds clear from in my mind. But still, at least there's always a story to tell. Could be my own saviour, put my pen to paper. Start falling under the spell of winning and shame, yeah. Heartbreak and pain, and someday I'll figure it out
I'll stop fearing failure, become something greater. Find a way back to myself. Till then at least there's a story, a story to tell.”
I cannot say enough good things about this album. I have not tired of any of the tracks or even tired of listening it from start to finish every single time. I am so excited I will see Hope when she’s in Philly!
“Well that’s the Routine Refrain I hope you enjoyed it, cause I know I did!”
xx